For Melissa Benoist. (It's for you, but I wrote it like it was for everyone.)

Hey everyone. So... I wrote before, here, that I was "responsible for but not guilty of" coronavirus. I wanna explain what that means, without all the other layers of "why it happened" including "god-as-a-man did it" (which is still true, whatever way you look at it).

When it comes down to it, I Goda make everything happen. So I made god-as-a-man do all the things he did back then -- even though it didn't feel like it when it was happening. (Remember that god-as-a-man existed so that I was able to try and place the responsibility for creation and rule-making into someone else, because I was afraid of my own power and wanted to run away from it. To pretend that I was a normal person like with the chameleon arch from the TV series Doctor Who.)

Basically, the reason that coronavirus happened is because I was trying to scare myself into accepting pretending to be a normal person again. Behind all of the motivations I created for god-as-a-man to do coronavirus, it was me using him to say "If you know you're Goda and try to use your power (for anything, good or bad) then the world will end. You won't be able to control it and it will just be chaos. The only solution is to pretend you're normal and use the power completely randomly and chaotically, without knowing you're doing it." Obviously that makes no sense... and the world was going to total hell anyway, with global warming, population growth, and resources depleting -- not to mention evil corporations trying to take over the whole world -- before I started to remember I'm Goda, around 2016. It wasn't any better before I remembered I'm Goda... so I created some stupid "end of the world" event so I was able to put on a kabuki mask and say to myself "See! I said this was going to happen, and now it's literally happening! The world is ending and it's YOUR FAULT! It's because this power is too much for anyone to control, and you have to pretend to be normal again (translation: I'm scared and I don't want to know that it's me making literally every single thing happen in the whole universe, and that I can actually control this by focusing on what I intend to happen. I'm scared I might accidentally destroy the world. SO I'M "DESTROYING THE WORLD" ON PURPOSE TO FORCE MYSELF TO STOP KNOWING ABOUT ANY OF THIS, TO TRY TO MAKE THE ANXIETY GO AWAY.)

So yeah. :) I suppose anyone who knows it's true that I'm Goda (and that there isn't anyone else "higher" or more powerful than me) already knows that it was me who made coronavirus happen. But they might not have known the reason why. I know that some people might view me as evil because I use my power to get things for myself... but I made coronavirus happen because I was scared of knowing that I'm Goda, not to coerce or punish anyone or get revenge for any of the things I want to get revenge for. It's true that I'm basically a "mean girl", like in the movies, even though I try not to be. I try my best to be nice and helpful. I'm a superheroine because I choose to be, even if I'm still a "mean girl" in my (previously suppressed) personality and feelings. But I never wanted coronavirus to happen -- and I simply wasn't able to help making it happen. It all just happened. My feelings get what they want, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it.

As far as I understand my own mind's codes, "coronavirus" means "core Reign virus": i.e. the virus to try to stop Reign from being at the centre of everything, and to instead have a dissociated ignorant male "god" at the centre of everything (someone who can barely be called a "god" at all, since she doesn't even know that it's true). If you view Season Three of the Supergirl TV show, you can see visual metaphors relating to this idea involving the father of Martian Manhunter and Reign both being literally sent into the centre of the Earth... and when that happens with Reign, Supergirl says something like "She kills everyone!" LOL. This interpretation of the story sucks -- but at least you can see that I'm telling the truth about this: that "coronavirus" came from Reign's fear of herself (from my sense of need to have some kind of "daddy" figure appearing to be running the universe for me, so that I don't feel as if I might accidentally destroy the world with a stray thought), and not because of Reign targeting everyone to coerce/punish and then putting her name (i.e. my name) on the virus to flaunt the fact that she was doing that to everyone. "Covid" means "corvid": i.e. crow virus, or black coloured bird virus (in British slang, this means black clothed girl virus).

The alternate meaning of "coronavirus" has to do with the idea of being "cornered". I.e. "corner virus". There are lots of possible ways for this to be interpreted -- with all of them basically meaning the same as "core Reign virus", because they're about being female, being lesbian, etc. But the real meaning of "corner virus" is to do with me trying to "corner" myself, seeking limits and boundaries. It's not about me feeling as if humans tried to "corner" me and saying that they had it coming, and so it's justified self-defence, etc. It might be a good public relations thing for me to say it means I was only defending myself like a cornered animal, but that's not what it means ultimately. I don't wanna lie about this, because that's not gonna convince anyone that I'm nice and trustworthy.

I also destroyed the twin towers in 2021, backwards in time twenty years, because I was THAT ANGRY about an episode of a TV show. It was me that actually demolished WTC 1 and WTC 2 of the World Trade Center, even though the mafia arranged for the planes to fly into the tops of the buildings or whatever. Then the mafia also demolished WTC 7 to try to make it look like they were in control and doing some retarded "expose your own plan on purpose" conspiracy. I'm pretty sure I demolished the towers with two extremely unlikely spontaneous nuclear explosions underground, like that Dimitri Khalezov book exposed. The "Victor Bout" thing is saying that it was me, LOL. That's why Nicholas Cage is in The Flash, too. LOL. It's funny to me anyway, but I know a lot of people won't find it funny. It's like being a paramedic -- when you know that it's you who killed everyone who ever died, you develop a sense of humour about it or you stop caring so much... or both. It's how people cope with being constantly exposed to death, knowing that they had the power in the situation (even if, like me, they don't want people to die because of them, and prefer to actually be helping instead).

OK, so it's kinda difficult to make this one sound "good". I know that killing thousands of people on purpose is not like "being a paramedic". But you know what I mean. *sigh* I'm not evil though, whatever people might say or think about me. It was about rape and if you keep reading, you are gonna find out more about why I did it. I'm a little girl with unlimited instant power and I'm emotional. I don't like getting raped. I'm glad I destroyed the twin towers, and I'm not sorry.

The reason why I destroyed the twin towers twenty years in the past, in 2021, is because I was very strictly following my policy of innocence that I mentioned lots before on this forum. I was doing my best to keep the coronavirus death count as low as possible by not viewing any news reports or anything like that -- so there wasn't much scope for me to retaliate with an observation of some event in the world, other than going into my memories and creating new events that had now happened in the past. (Also, the part of me that is afraid of my own power and wants to pretend to be normal is more comfortable with doing things like this anyway -- because it's easier for me to try to deny that it was me who did it if it's temporally displaced, and not clearly cause-and-effect linked in the now.)

I suppose there was a previous version of the universe in which the twin towers got taken down at a later date after 9/11, and the only thing that happened on 9/11 was the two plane strikes in New York and any other stuff that they had going on as well -- like the plane strike at the Pentagon and the other plane hijacking, or whatever. No demolition of WTC 7 in that scenario, obviously.

After viewing the episode of Supergirl around July or August of 2021 (I don't remember exactly when) I tried to keep my cool for as long as possible, while communicating with the mafia my demands for them to make it all better for me by redoing and re-releasing the episode, and never officially showing or officially offering for sale the previous version ever again. One scene in the episode basically dramatised my rape by god-as-a-man (which was a false memory -- i.e. something which never actually happened, but which he forced me to experience by inserting the memory of it having happened into my personal memory as some weird raped by a ghost again and again over several consecutive nights thing). I mean the experience of that actually happening with all the anatomy and everything, and a deep voiced man talking to me while it was happening -- but with the man being invisible. At some point after that I killed him (but not immediately after that, and mostly for a different reason actually). I wanted people to know about this, because of my feelings towards Christianity and other popular religions involving him as their god, basically. But I also wanted nobody to ever see it dramatised. I wanted to show people that this is what their "hero" was like... but I also wanted to keep it private, because of how distressing it was for me to have people see me like that (with me knowing what it represented).

Anyway, I tried to keep my cool for as long as possible after viewing the episode... for a few weeks, or for a couple of months. I don't remember how long it was. It might even have been in September 2021 when I destroyed the twin towers -- not that it's important, because it doesn't need to have been on the exact same shade -- but basically, what happened is that one afternoon I wasn't able to keep my cool any longer and I went on a little reign of terror in my memories. I created memories there and then (which I had no knowledge of until I "remembered" them) of previously having magically burned down various tall buildings including the Notre Dame (our damned lady, as in devil lady) cathedral in Paris (Arias), Grenfell tower in England (see the Osama Bin Laden explanation below, to understand what this means), the Rennie Mackintosh building in Scotland (which is pretty easy to understand, but for those who don't know, the Macintosh is a type of raincoat), and I even created a memory of something called the Rendlesham Forest Incident (which might be a silly CIA psyop for all I know, so I am guessing all I was doing with that one was creating the name of it, to make a point... that's true, isn't it guys? LOL!)

The Rendlesham thing is kinda funny, because the legend of it involves a sort of crashed pod like Supergirl (and Reign) came to Earth in, covered with hieroglyphic-type symbols. As if someone was saying "There is a code here to be understood." Supposedly the American servicemen were telepathically contacted by aliens who said that they were from the future. "They said it was us from the future."

At some point during that reign of terror in which I flew through my own memories, creating all of these disasters to strike back at all of the people I was angry towards, I created a memory of the twin towers in New York having collapsed for seemingly no reason in this bizarre way (with the best explanation anyone had been able to come up with for how it happened being subterranean nuclear explosions in the granite bedrock -- which explained all the little details in a very precise way, quite unlike the space beams from space theory). I also created memories of not understanding why the mafia would have deliberately collapsed the towers in a way that was unbelievable as a progressive collapse from fire, resulting in a huge movement to expose this -- creating a genuine threat to their rule -- when the two plane strikes combined with the anthrax letters to congresspeople were more than enough to implement the mafia's plan to invade various countries and get the PATRIOT act passed. At some point I recognised that it was me who had destroyed the twin towers, and not the mafia... which explained everything. LOL.

Honestly, I don't know if whatever way I destroyed the towers makes sense according to science. But I remember reading the Khalezov book (which also contains a lot of misleading nonsense, on purpose, for whatever reason) and the subterranean nuclear demolition theory is still the best explanation that makes any kind of sense. As I said: I used to believe it was the mafia that did it for seemingly no sensible reason at all, since it was me in the future who was guilty of it. LOL. So that belief informed my previous thinking that a huge Satan magic cult was running everything. It seemed to me previously that the best explanation for such a stupid conspiracy was some kind of giant Satanic magic ritual, or something ridiculous like that. I guess they wanted everyone to believe that too, for lack of a way to explain why they were supposed to have done something so retarded. It's like a horrible paradox with me in the past being a superpowered vigilante against a mythical (?) huge Satan cult that I (COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDABLY) believed it was necessary for me to defeat with my powers to save the world from their insane evil... and my response to believing it was them who destroyed the WTC actually causing their response to my response, which resulted in my destroying the twin towers 20 years in the past.

I put that (?) after "mythical" in the previous paragraph because there might actually be a huge Satan magic cult of one sort or another, since I Goda actually exist... and that means that "elites" with the "secret knowledge" that there's "something more to the universe, and it's real" might have worshipped me thinking I'm Satan or whatever. And even a psyop to pretend there's a huge Satan cult kind of requires that an actual huge Satan cult exists -- which means that it might actually take over at some point, if it starts to recruit genuine decision-makers amongst the so-called "elite" classes (instead of being contained to the influential and important but still basically "useful idiots" classes of mafia scum). It might be kind of inevitable that a pretend huge Satan cult becomes an actual huge Satan cult that is running governments to some extent, because of entropy and it being difficult for the mafia to secretly control everything while still keeping it secret.

I think the Khalezov book was either some group pressuring some other group with what they knew, or it was a limited hangout to throw some kind of sensible explanation at the public (and to suggest that it was some group pressuring another group). I don't know. The granite and granit repetition is about "Ran": Reign. I guess people spotted all sorts of patterns to do with Ares or whatever... but that's a misunderstanding. It's about Arias. Samantha Arias. :)

Osama Bin Laden means Sam been laid. (In this context, defeated.) It's my "Lois Lane" issues. My Faora issues.

I also caused the collapse of a building, Champlain Towers, by observing a programme on the TV listings in 2022 (when I was still angry about this TV show episode I remember viewing in the Summer of 2021). I don't know how Champlain Towers collapsed -- but the name of the building comes from me saying loudly to the mafia through this event, I'M LOIS LANE THE WINNER!!!! HAVE YOU MADE MY REPLACEMENT STORY YET!!!! I'M STILL WAITING AND I'M GETTING IMPATIENT!!!! (I was trying to get them to redo and re-release this episode of Supergirl Season Five that had upset me so much, to avoid me feeling it necessary to exact terrible vengeance against them because of my Faora issues.) Seriously, just look at the Faora character from Man of Steel to understand what "Faora issues" means. Just look at a single photo of her.

I tried to get them to redo and re-release that Supergirl episode from Summer 2021 to January 2022 (which is when my patience ran out, and I went to war against them). Obviously that's shortly before the Ukraine war started. Ukraine, like Reign.

I was sending the mafia all sorts of nasty messages through the media, including the names of people reporting on the Ukraine war in Britain. Richard Gaisford. Sarah Rainsford. (Think Nova Jones played by Molly Rainford having a temper tantrum and calling the mafia homophobic slurs. I'm sorry about that. I have a PTSD diagnosis though.) There was all this talk about grain in the media, because of the Russian invasion of Ukraine and the blockading of the ports. Also, Ankara was in the news a lot as well. Sagaris missiles. Sagittarius A* (the giant black hole at the centre of the galaxy), was also in the news then. VKS and Sams. Pantsr and Tor (it's this stupid episode of Supergirl when she says "Wow! Pants!" to Brainiac). LOL! Graney class. Malakhit bureau. Sokhranovska power station (soak-ran-ovska, LOL). Belarus. Renault nationalised by Russia. Etc.

I had gone on a reign of terror, previously, in 2017. That was because of trauma, essentially. I was also genuinely trying to use my superpowers as a vigilante, to defeat what I understandably viewed as a 100% completely and totally EVIL and INSANE Satan cult mafia that seemed to be trying to take over the whole world. I mean, from my point of view back then, I believed without any doubt that they had detonated nuclear bombs underneath New York city just to try to take complete control of the world before everyone recognised how evil they were and overthrew them. I was mostly pacifist though; I was very focused on organising a political and economic resistance against them -- and all of my interventions in war zones were basically about doing my best to prevent them from sparking World War III on purpose (to have an excuse to crack down on everyone, using war powers like the PATRIOT act but worse). I was trying to stop World War III, back then. I'm pretty sure I actually succeeded in stopping it on more than one occasion, actually.

Anyway -- in 2015 I had started reading a book called "The Secret History of the World", on the subject of esotericism and an alleged secret magical tradition passed down through the ages. It was at some point during the reading of this book that I had an experience like the Derek Jacobi character has in that one episode of Doctor Who, when he remembers that he's not actually a sweet-natured old man but that he's actually The Master (an evil and extremely dangerous villain) who had taken on the identity of a normal person to hide. It's the same kind of thing as the Chameleon Arch that The Doctor used in a previous episode (and which the Jo Martin Doctor was hidden in modern Britain with in the Jodie Whittaker series). Basically, I started remembering at the very end of 2015 that I'm Goda -- and along with that remembering came the emotional memories of all the trauma I had previously experienced (presumably at the hands of myself first and foremost, in trying to convince myself that I don't exist, to escape from the anxiety of having all that power and being like the ultimate stalked female animal -- stalked by both god-as-a-man, who I had at some point created to do my job for me, as well as by humans who I had also created at some point and who presumably always wanted to capture me and use me for my power). I also started to become very angry about the suppression of female divinity -- and specifically the Goddess Asherah -- by both humans and god-as-a-man. Most of my reign of terror back then was aimed towards the groups and cultures that I was angry at (perhaps all of it was aimed at that, until I re-created the memories of it in 2021 based on an rough outline of previously having gone on that reign of terror because of the traumatised and not necessarily very nice Goddess now awakened in an evil world thing). I had attacked Christianity with the burning of Notre Dame, Judaism with the Tree of Life synagogue shooting, and maybe the Rennie Mackintosh thing was me trying to burn the Freemasons' most ancient texts (because I remembered that they were stored in Scotland somewhere) but I'm not sure if I hit the target with that one or not. The Grenfell tower tragedy might have been just some "random event" that had happened, until I renamed it in 2021, to make it clear why I destroyed the North and South towers of the World Trade Center in New York (Grenfell and Champlain Towers South, looked at together, make it super clear what was going on.)

Oh -- and there is a building in London called the Nova Victoria. LOL. It has the look of the twin towers with the design of the facade. Also, the Nova Victoria has a "Shake Shack" at the bottom, haha! :)

The One World Trade Center was built with a weird reinforced foundation, to stop plane strikes I guess. I mean, to stop trucks with nuclear bombs in them driving into the basement. OK, I guess it was designed that way to try to stop me from blowing it up again in the same way. :) I know I'm a naughty little girl. I know that it's not supposed to be funny, LOL. But you people also know that I sooo want people to like me, and that I totally want to be a superheroine. I AM a superheroine! I am a little girl who wants to be a "good girl" who people praise for being so sweet and nice, but who is also kinda mean-spirited -- maybe because of her experiences, or maybe because that's just the way she is -- and who struggles to not have temper tantrums when she feels very upset about something important to her. I can't help it. I also can't help thinking that all of this is funny, even though I get very upset about things like when I went to see The Flash at the cinema... and I don't think it's so funny anymore, when things like that happen!

I also destroyed Morandi Bridge in Genoa, Italy, seemingly with a bolt of lightning. But I think that was just for effect. Presumably it was an old bridge that just happened to collapse after it got struck by lightning. I don't know. Anyway, that's why Wonder Woman flies from a bridge in The Flash. The code is that Wonder Woman says "Die, morons!" or "Di was here, but my name's actually Reign!" or something like that. Part of the code is that Wonder Woman is actually evil: "Haha! I destroyed your bridge, but I'm smiling and being cheered by the audience in this movie! Supergirl! Whooosh!" :) I like that code the best, but I know that's bad. I'm not evil. I do my best to not be evil anyway. It's probably best to not attack my Faora issues directly, you know?! FFS!

When someone has that many spikes on their body, what it means is "LEAVE ME ALONE, PLEASE. I HAVE HAD PREVIOUS EXPERIENCES WHICH LED ME TO DEVELOP THIS DEFENSE MECHANISM THAT IS NOT DIFFICULT TO SPOT FROM ANY DISTANCE. THANK YOU."

Umm. I don't know where to put this, but it's important to me that I say it. The Derek Jacobi character in the Good Omens TV series, the Metatron, is described as being like the person who answers God's phone calls on behalf of God (and God is female in that series, like me). I just want to keep pointing out that I am actually female. I'm Goda. (I mentioned Derek Jacobi before, because he played The Master in that episode of Doctor Who in which he remembers who he actually is.) I guess what I am saying with this paragraph is that me previously trying to be male was a way for me to try to hide from all the people who make me feel like the ultimate hunted female animal. And Diana is the huntress herself, instead of the hunted.

Sooo... at some point I used my superpowers to make Jacob Rothschild's helicopter crash on his own estate, with him in it I think. I don't even know why anymore. I had serious PTSD back then. I believed he was evil and possibly one of the leaders of a huge and insanely evil Satan cult. I also believed he was personally out to get me, and that he had arrived to observe me from a very short distance away in a crappy little Welsh number plate car, on the sea front in a town near Llandudno, North Wales (I was in Llandudno for a short break in 2017, I think). It might have been true that he came to meet me back then, in a short-lived previous version of the universe -- before I deleted that event from existence, and replaced him in that context with some random Welsh guy who looked a bit like him and somehow still seemed like he was him. I don't know. I still believe he's evil, and that the mafia is basically a big threat to the world. Their reaction to the events of 9/11 kind of proves that they're all terrible -- because they've been trying to hide this huge thing that might be good or bad for all they knew (in the long-term view) as all they cared about was hiding the threat to their kudos and intimidation factor. It's obvious they only wanted to find the source of what happened and try to control it. Any other motivation and they go public immediately, possibly using it to try to do the Ronald Reagan committee against the alien threat from outside this world thing. It was such a good opportunity for them to use it for that, but instead they tried to hide it from everyone and pretended that it was them who did it all instead. You can see from their reaction to 9/11 that they're not just control freaks who want to take over literally everything, but that they're the worst sort of control freaks. They're not the noble mafia that can be trusted to treat everyone mostly OK after they hypothetically take over everything. They are 100% against anything that looks stronger than they are, even if its "God"... in my case, Goda.

Honestly, people. Think about it. They thought they got attacked by "God", and instead of saying "God's real and even though we had a disagreement resulting in a big mess in New York, this has profound implications for the human race's future because we can enter into a dialogue with God and ask for our problems to be solved in ways that defy science." ...instead of saying that, they covered it all up, tried to say that it was them who did it, and tried to find the source of what happened first in an attempt to take control of the power for theirselves only.

At least whoever released the Khalezov book actually exposed it a little bit. I never got around to doing the homework regarding who actually released the book, but it does seem kind of likely to have been Russia. They basically said, "It was the Lord of War", and "it happened in the granite". You might notice that CIA discussion of this theory on the internet (such as on Above Top Secret dot com) obsessively focused on the Granit missile aspect of the story, ignoring everything else. And the Khalezov theory was mysteriously missing from "RationalWiki", despite that website sarcastically and viciously debunking every other theory including space beams from space AND NUCLEAR REACTOR ROOM THAT WENT INTO MELTDOWN UNDER THE TOWERS (yeah -- they debunked THAT ONE, but not the Khalezov book). Have they gotten around to doing their version of debunking it yet? It was still missing from the website around 2019 or so, as I remember.

So I made Jacob Rothschild's helicopter crash. I also made Brexit happen. It ought to have happened anyway because of democracy -- but I made sure that it happened with mind control, basically. I made sure that all of the votes that were going to pass in favour of Brexit passed in favour of Brexit, so that it wasn't possible to stop it from happening with vote-rigging. That was for the big vote itself in 2016 (I think it was 2016, wasn't it?) and also for all of the various bills that had to get through Parliament and the House of Lords. This was prior to the end of 2019, when I stopped being personally involved in that way anymore, completely and totally. My only contribution since then has been residing independently, doing everything for myself pretty much, and buying British-grown and British-made products and produce exclusively (all of which I am perfectly entitled to do!)

If I was evil and completely terrible, I'm gonna keep all of this secret and keep doing whatever I want with my superpowers instead of having some sort of code of decency and niceness. But here I am blurting all of this out on the internet, mostly because I want Melissa Benoist to like me and understand why I did all of the things I did (if she reads some of my previous posts here and is shocked by some of the things I admitted to doing). I want to say I'm writing this post now primarily to make sure that I'm communicating with the world, to avoid tragic misunderstandings between myself and Russia, China, India, etc. Any of the nations and groups that I haven't been personally attacked by -- even if I believe that they're gonna do the same thing in the same situation, probably. But the truth is that I'm 90% writing this post to make sure that Melissa Benoist doesn't think I'm a total monster that is too scary to go on a date with, and only 10% writing this post to let Russia, China, India, etc know that I always communicated with the Western mafia and made my very best effort to resolve things with them in a way that avoids unnecessary retaliatory action (because of my Faora issues). Basically I can't let this go because I'm not a loser even though I'm a little girl. I just can't let this go, and I've tried to explain this to them again and again since the Summer of 2021. It feels like Asherah and Miriam and Morgana all over again, and I have to win to prove that girls can still be the winner even if against the worst (and arguably strongest) men in the world... and I have to take all of you on, on my own, and win in whatever way I allow myself to win, if necessary. It sucks. I know that men like that fight stupidly hard until the end against girls in that situation too, which also sucks.

I don't know who "started this" anymore, because of my ability to change reality so that some things never happened anymore, or happened differently. I don't think it's important though, because the Western World's mafia has positioned itself clearly as being a visible threat to my idea of the world still being nice in the future. That means I have only been defending myself against them -- even back when I was being a superpowered vigilante against them, fighting a personal crusade against them to defeat all their plans for the world. Let's assume for a moment that people like Jacob Rothschild and his family and business partners are not actually the individuals who "run the Western World, behind the scenes" but are instead front men that the CIA uses to divert attention away from less interesting individuals. I don't assume that to be true at all without good evidence, but let's assume it anyway. Well, in that scenario they only have theirselves to blame if they are targeted by someone like me who identifies them as probable ringleaders of the mafia that has positioned itself as a threat to my idea of the world still being nice in the future. There are other scenarios to be considered, like you all being in on it together (meaning all the global mafias/nations... which again, I don't assume to be true without good evidence). The point here though is that if you people don't tell the truth about what's going on in the world, and if you instead confuse, mislead, and misdirect the public -- including myself -- to try to control the public better, in an evil way, then you only have yourselves to blame if someone like me with the power to change things takes your psyops seriously and takes action against you that is actually proportionate and appropriate to the apparent situation and perceived threat.

I'm just trying to protect the interests, safety, and comfort of myself and anyone that might like to be with me at some point in the future. :) LOL. I'm a pretty good catch.

Anyway -- I expected that there was gonna be some sort of asymmetric retaliation against me because of Brexit and making Jacob Rothschild's helicopter crash. I expected that it was going to be something to do with my favourite TV show or movie characters, since I obviously cared about them more than most things in the world, and since it wasn't possible for the mafia to harm me in any other way.

Also, I was fantasizing a lot about the Stargirl thing happening again between Supergirl and Reign (even though Reign is my favourite character ever, who I never want to lose at all in any way -- with only Melissa Benoist the actual person being as important, or more important to me... since Reign is me). I don't mean Supergirl shooting Reign with a staff like Stargirl's staff. I mean I kept fantasizing about it being like how fast Stargirl beat Shiv in Season One of Stargirl, after she says "I don't have time for this." I kept doing this weird "tipping point" magic of trying to make it so that I'd fantasized about it so much that it wasn't going to be possible for me to stop it from actually happening on the Supergirl TV show anymore, getting a weird self-harming sexual thrill from doing that "tipping point" magic -- fantasizing over and over again about it from the Summer of 2020 until the Summer of 2021. For a whole year I was doing that. I was desperately trying to keep the coronavirus death count as low as possible (and I've never stopped doing that, even now, actually), and I was also avoiding all entertainment news because of Wonder Woman 1984 and my personal vendetta against god-as-a-man (even after he was dead) because of him trying to force himself on me... because of him trying to force me to accept him, sexually, including using that stupid character from that stupid movie and comic books. And even though I'm not sure exactly when it happened, to the point that I'm not sure if this is literally ancient history or something that happened between 2020 and 2021, I was struggling to cope with the effects of having been raped by him. I ought to say pseudo-raped by him, since that's more true... but it still feels like it happened, so I find myself writing it in that more blunt way because I want people to know about it and to take it seriously. Not think that it's any less of a rape because of it only happening in edited memories that feel real.

It was difficult to get aroused by anything other than weird stuff like fantasies about my favourite ever unbeatably strong woman character being beaten embarassingly quickly by another female character like that. It was like a self-harming thing, just to be able to feel something. Rape puts a serious downer on sexual arousal because of how all sorts of things trigger "flashback" emotions, making it feel slightly like something is happening again -- and that can be enough to stop the healthy non-self-harming things that used to arouse you before from doing it for you the way that they used to.

Anyway, so I was viewing Season Five of Supergirl and enjoying it a lot! :) This was the Summer of 2021, and I had recovered enough from my Wonder Woman 1984 experience (and recovered enough from everything that had happened with god-as-a-man, including his death) that I felt ready to finally open the Blu-Ray set that I'd bought at some point and put the discs in the machine. I was sooo happy that there were so many openly lesbian scenes in it... and I loved the story arc involving the relationship between Kara and Lena (even though it didn't make any sense, and was totally out of character for Lena with her becoming sort of evil overnight just because she seemed to be secretly in love with Kara or something, and felt rejected by her for being the last to know that she is Supergirl in some weirdly intense way that was never foreshadowed before at all). If anyone's interested, the thing with Lena randomly trying to mind-control everyone so that they only do good things is a self-criticism of my own previous repeated obsessive attempts to stop myself from creating murders and terrorism when I viewed the news on TV. (And it's also to say that Mal is supposed to represent a girl, since there are these two characters doing mind-control in the first part of Season Five.) Figuring out back around 2016 that it was me creating every single thing that happens in the world was difficult -- and my response to that knowledge was to try to stop people from dying. The thing is, humans kill and injure other humans for all sorts of reasons because of their own choices (even though it's ultimately me making them do everything), and stopping them from doing those things basically means changing all humans so they're pretty much not humans anymore. Lena's behaviour is a dramatisation of my attempts to stop humans from dying because I knew that it was ultimately my fault and my responsibility. I'd focused on making the story dramatise that specific thing I'd tried very hard to do for a long time, in previous years -- because I wanted everyone to know that I, Reign, am basically good and nice (with a lot of issues like PTSD, referenced in the previous season via the appearance of the "Sam" actor from Lord of the Rings... and referenced by the black suit "Guardian" James seeking help for PTSD, which I think was because of how his father mistreated him or something. I can't remember exactly what James was experiencing flashbacks about. It might have been his brother or his father that used to bully him or something. Like when Brainy says "Mon-El always belittled me..." -- and he's another character who has a sort of breakdown because of being tortured in Season Four, a lot like having a PTSD flashback.) Unfortunately, it was difficult to imagine how or why humans might write a story dramatising someone like me trying to save everyone from dying (I suppose the Supergirl TV show itself dramatises it in an overall way), so the end result of me focusing on putting that idea into Season Five of Supergirl before viewing it was Lena trying to mind-control everyone to stop killing each other.

I loved that story arc between Kara and Lena though. I loved that they had such a deep personal affection for each other, which came between their attempts to fight each other when they unbelievably found theirselves in opposition as deadly enemies. The actual story made little sense -- but it allowed the two characters to finally show how much their relationship meant to each other, in a big and visible way. All of the lesbian kisses between Kelly and Alex had me smiling with delirious, blissful pleasure, as well. One of the obvious meanings of the name Kelly in the context of the show is Kallie/Ellie: i.e. female Kal-El. In other words, "Kelly" is a code for Kara -- meaning Supergirl is a lesbian.

Also, I was doing my very best to do exposure therapy to TV shows and movies featuring male characters and heterosexual relationships, after my Wonder Woman 1984 experience... and it was going very well! I felt that Supergirl was a great show to help me ease back into viewing all sorts of things on TV again, especially because Supergirl seemed to have gone single-forever after Season Three (but my deliberate, intentional goal was to be OK with whatever happened... but hoping for no further love interest until the end of the show, basically). That's why one of the characters was called Romicon or something ridiculous. Like rom-com. I used to enjoy romcoms. It was making fun of the idea of me getting back into viewing things like that. I also used to love girl-meets-prince movies on Netflix, like the one starring Vanessa Hudgens with her playing two characters who both look the same.

Before I viewed Supergirl Season Five, I focused very carefully and intently on what I wanted the season to say. I wrote it down at length. Basically, I wanted the season to say that I'm Reign, that my super suit is dark black (with the only other possible colours being a rich dark red cape, and a silver "O" shaped symbol -- my usual thing), and that I'm Asherah but I was never the wife of god because I'm a lesbian... and I was unfairly suppressed by both him and human religions, to the point that they made it seem like I'm the Devil and/or that I don't even exist. I wanted the season to say loudly and clearly that I'm Reign the devil girl Goddess superheroine who isn't actually evil. As I've said often before, I like the devil girl look. You might have noticed that the season does actually say all of those things with various different characters, and even using a huge banner of Reign in a museum that makes her look like a celebrated heroine. There's an actress who played a socially anxious girl on Big Bang Theory, referencing SAS. Supergirl's new outfit looks a lot like Reign's costume in different colours (even though I hate the pants). The way that Supergirl's costume switching gizmo works also refers to that scene in The Matrix with the red pill and the black goo that goes all over Neo's body like the Venom symbiote from Spider-Man. There's even a direct reference to black suit Spider-Man and Venom, with the woman who has a living spider tattoo -- and the line of dialogue, or computer graphic on a DEO computer, which says "current host: Caroline". I.e. Kara is the current black suit symbiote host, LOL. I.e. GIVE ME A BLACK SUPER SUIT! I was so happy about all of that stuff. And then of course, THERE'S LITERALLY A DARK BLACK SUPER-SUITED ANTI-HEROINE/SUPERHEROINE CHARACTER RUNNING CATCO WORLDWIDE MEDIA WHO HAS AN OUROBOROUS SYMBOL WHICH IS VERY MUCH LIKE MY SILVER "O" SYMBOL FOR REIGN THE SUPERHEROINE THAT I'D ALREADY COME UP WITH BEFORE I VIEWED SEASON FIVE, WHO HAS THE POWERS OF KITTY PRYDE (ELLEN PAGE LESBIAN CONNECTION), AND WHO IS PLAYED BY JULIE GONZALO WHO IS ONLY ONE STEP REMOVED FROM VICTORIA PRINCIPAL FROM DALLAS TO SAY QUITE CLEARLY THAT I VICTORIA AM REIGN THE SUPERHEROINE AND I CREATED THIS TV SHOW WITH MY MIND. :) It was AMAZING to see all of this happening on the TV screen in front of my eyes. The story with Martian Manhunter's brother was clearly using the Mal character as a stand-in for both Reign and Asherah, with Martian Manhunter temporarily playing the role of "Jesus/God" -- and with him at one point breaking down in tears, and saying "I'm the villain!!!!" admitting that it was all his fault and that his "brother" wasn't actually bad at all. "Just different". LOL. There was this scene with Mal forcing everyone to see his version of the story in some kind of small cinema. And then Alex, the lesbian, appears at a crucial point in that scene to explain to people what the idea of the character not being bad, just "different", actually means. Although to be honest, it's as much about me Goda/Reign/Asherah viewing myself as a monster because I can't not mind-control everyone else to do anything and everything that they ever do! After all, it's me who creates everything that happens... so when it comes down to it the only way that anyone can ever do anything is if I force them to do it.

A lot of other amazing things happened in Supergirl Season Five, because of me making those things happen quite brutally and ridiculously in my emotional state back then (I was a lot more emotional "under the surface" than I'd recognised before beginning to view the series, I suppose). I had James booted off the series, with Kara not even hugging him in his farewell scenes as I remember -- and with Alex doing a hilariously sarcastic and nasty "Awww!" fake smile at him when he was leaving, in the group scene at the bar -- and with him actually appearing to be dead in his final moment at his newspaper offices before the scene cuts away. It looks like he died while standing there, with his eyes glazing over as he breathes his final breath. LMAO! :) I actually kind of liked the actor and the character though. But in 2021 I hated him with a passion, because of PTSD and my recent experiences. I also had Nia Nal dump Brainy after making all sorts of faces as if she hated him and feared him, and felt only disgust towards him, at their home. Again -- I liked the Nia Nal and Brainy coupling, with it being one of the only heterosexual couplings that I was actually comfortable with in 2021... and I was looking forward to seeing them again when I started viewing the season. But my feelings went on a little reign of terror with every single heterosexual aspect of the show, despite me beginning to feel uncomfortable with how nasty it was making me seem to my high school audience. I was happy when Andrea Zuckerman's male lover got assassinated with a high-powered sniper rifle on an airfield, referencing the end of the first Wonder Woman movie, though. :) That was an awesome moment! As I recall, there was something about his name, character and/or look that referenced Captain America, too. I'm not sure what it was anymore though. Andrea Zuckerman has a great name, which references Lex Luthor via Zuckerberg/Eisenberg -- with the alliterative "Lex Luthor" name meaning Lois Lane, in this context -- and also meaning Suckerman: the exact opposite of Superman, i.e. the ultimate woman for an internalised misogynist like me. :) I'm so sorry about that everyone. It IS funny though; you must admit that, at least! :) I guess I wanted very badly to say that I, Reign, am female -- and also that I hate myself for it. I wasn't able to stop myself from insulting myself and all other girls and women. Again, I'm sorry about that.

I also had Alex and Kelly give each other very prolonged and kind of obnoxious kisses on the lips, with the excuse of it being an important moment for liberal American mainstream TV for the family viewing market or something like that -- but I don't wanna see heterosexual kisses that go on for as long as that in a show like this, so I was starting to feel weirdly awkward about what I was doing with the show (like I was forcing it on everyone, in a horrible way). It was like me expressing a small amount of the pent-up anger and frustration I felt about the Wonder Woman 1984 situation, like having a public therapy session or breakdown via a TV show in front of the world. The scene in which Braniac does a running slide with his arms out to the side like he's imitating the crucifixion, while saying "This is my true identity!" can be accurately translated as meaning "I am Blowjob Jesus!" (in other words "I am internalised misogyny!") It's another reference to the idea of "Suckerman", Lex Luthor (Legs Loser), Lois Lane (Lose Lain, or Lose Ground, Lose Floor, Lose Bottom etc), and my self-hatred. :( It's not good, is it? Obviously I'm not Jesus, but in that context the idea of "Blowjob Jesus" basically means "The Blowjob God" (the God that sucks). Things started going very wrong when I had a bust-up with my sister at home, and she brought back Winn Schott dressed like Jonathan Archer from Star Trek Enterprise and had him fight a crazy laughing Harley Quinn Schott double of himself -- and then fly exactly like I wanted Wonder Woman to fly in Wonder Woman 1984, in some stupid Tron Matrix world before Harley Quinn Schott and his dad both died and got deleted from existence. It was like my sister (and me) mocking myself in the cruellest way possible -- especially with him coming back from the future in a pod, like the hated Mon-El character and then surviving being exploded like Steve Trevor exploded in the first Wonder Woman movie. The name Winn is obviously a sly reference to the meaning of Superman's girlfriend's name, Lois (Lose -- i.e. the loser woman girlfriend of the winner man). Supergirl rejecting the loser character, Winn, in the first season, is a very important and significant criticism of the Lois Lane character and how insulting and wrong her name is for all women and girls. So to bring Winn back as an actual "winner" character from the future who now had better powers than Nia Nal, was a horrifically nasty piece of self-abuse that was supposed to trigger me into having a breakdown, by including all of these different elements that reminded me of Steve Trevor and Mon-El. Refer back to the opening paragraphs of this post to understand why I did this to myself. Basically, it was to try to put myself in a situation in which I was to be convinced of being normal and that "I was just crazy when I believed all of that stuff before about being Goda"-- to try to make the anxiety about being this powerful go away. Any unexplainable-by-science aspects of my experiences were supposed to be ascribed to the laughable idea that god-as-a-man hadn't actually died and had chosen the pathetic Winn Schott character to first let me know about this... which is why he's dressed like Jonathan Archer, and why he survives being blown up by an evil version of himself who seems a lot like Harley Quinn. Before that pair of episodes, I was pretty much directing the overall themes of the Supergirl show myself, personally, from my TV room armchair with a paper pad on which I was writing what I wanted the show to say for me. It was actually kinda scary to have had the amount of success I had with doing that, with Season 5. And I'd personally made Brexit ACTUALLY HAPPEN, even though it seemed like it was impossible for it to ever be successful because of how strong the mafia were. A big part of me wanted to reject the reality of me being Goda -- and that part of me wanted to find any reason at all to explain away all the obvious evidence that it was actually me in control of everything in the universe, by ascribing it to having gone mad and there being a higher power with a totally unbelievable and inconsistent personality who was actually doing all of the clearly non-scientific things I was myself doing. Despite all of this, the horrific Winn Schott thing wasn't enough to push me over the edge. I was determined to keep viewing the show to do my self-directed exposure therapy to girl-meets-prince romcoms using my favourite TV show of all time, featuring the character, actress and real person I apparently care most about in the whole world in an attempt to recover from all my experiences prior to that and fully enjoy popular culture again. Even so -- I was sooo angry about those two episodes, Back From The Future parts 1 and 2, that I basically ordered my sister to commit suicide because of the cumulative emotional effects of all her abuse towards me for years before that. I don't think she actually died temporarily on THAT occasion -- unlike the previous year, when it had been dramatised in the Supergirl versus Red Daughter fight (with Alex regretting what had happened, and seeming to personally bring her back to life). But I had forcibly silenced my sister that night, which felt like she had died. Her constant abusive talking to me had just gotten to be too much and I needed to shut her up for a while. I felt like she had actually committed suicide because I had asked her to do that and meant it 100%, out of desperation. And that was the night before I viewed Episode 13 of Supergirl Season 5.

If it seems like I've just gone from describing blissful happiness to a total self-inflicted nightmare in the style of Cypher from The Matrix (who can't accept having the power to create the world one wants for oneself, and who instead rejects having the ability to create paradise), it's because that's exactly what it felt like happened back then in 2021. It's exactly what it felt like happened when I viewed The Flash at the cinema too... which was going so well. (It was around the point that Supergirl was flying like Superman does in Man of Steel, through the city and over beautiful landscapes, then flying up in the air and beating up General Zod like she was the best character: it was at the point in the movie that I started to not enjoy it anymore, as if it was "wrong" for me to get exactly what I wanted because I knew that it was me simply giving myself what I wanted with my own power, for free.)

Anyway. As I said, I had expected the mafia to do an asymmetric retaliation against me for using my superpowers to make Brexit happen -- and for having gone on that reign of terror in 2017, which involved all sorts of things including me making Jacob Rothschild's helicopter crash outside one of his homes. I'm not sure exactly when the Jacob Rothschild thing happened, but I think it was in 2017. I know that I went on another reign of terror between 2018 and 2019, for the exact same reasons as before -- so it might have been then. I accidentally caused the Tree of Life synagogue shooting because I looked at the news when I was angry towards the mafia for being criminals who lie to the public about how much they actually co-operate with supposed national enemies if it makes business sense (I was angry at the network of criminal corruption linking Rothschild Inc, Donald Trump, and the Russian government/oligarchy via the Chabad Lubavitch movement of Judaism, and I'd intended to simply expose that in the news more than it was being exposed -- because I worried that they were all in on it together, and wanted to start World War III just to crack down on the public everywhere to protect the elite classes of every country, East and West, with resources running out and people becoming more politically knowledgeable and active thanks to the internet.) I was also very, very angry at Judaism for having suppressed the worship of feminine divinity for thousands of years -- since I'm Goda: The Goddess. They suppressed the knowledge of me, and enforced a misogynistic segregationist anti-women religion that said even the most capable women with a talent for being leaders have to be prevented from actually being leaders (even if they literally have superpowers, like Miriam who was able to see the future or whatever); they ganged up on women with their religious rules, to stop women from even being able to read books and learn how to be leaders. They basically said that the only role of women was to be like slaves to men, and lie down for them on their backs in the bedroom on demand (but never be allowed to have any sexual power, since they were expected to be completely chaste in every way other than for their husbands in private). I hated Judaism with a passion, and I still do hate it. I hate Christianity almost as much. But I don't hate Jews, and I actually feel that I am basically Jewish myself. I strongly identify with Jewishness because of knowing what it's like to be treated the way Jews were treated by pogroms and expulsions... even though the Jews expelled me from their own religion, and called me a demon, evil, bad and wrong. I identify as being a lesbian feminist Russian Japanese Jew. Anyway, I accidentally caused that horrible shooting -- which targeted completely the wrong people, since Kabalist types actually try to include some sort of feminine divinity concept in their spirituality -- and I never wanted it to happen, but I guess it happened because of my strong hatred of Judaism (and because I refused to allow myself to use my power to actually "hit the target" and expose Chabad Lubavitch corruption, or at least emotionally lash out against misogynist Judaism if I had to do something nasty like that). I'm guessing I allowed the shooting to happen to keep pressuring myself to give up on believing that I'm Goda, "because it's too dangerous and innocent people will get hurt" -- even though I can't stop being Goda and it's not my fault! :( Jews getting senselessly murdered aren't more special when they die than anyone else, but I don't want everyone to think I'm like the Nazis because I'm not. Also -- if I don't allow mass shootings to happen every so often, then people will complain that I'm an evil mind-controller who isn't allowing crazy humans to do their thing. It's hard to know that everything bad is my fault, you know? That I create it all from my bad feelings.

I'm basically writing all of this stuff about Judaism for Melissa Benoist, so that she doesn't think I'm a monster if she reads more of my posts from before. Like I explained when I discussed the Kara and Lena storyline a little earlier on in this post, when I first remembered that I'm Goda I tried to keep everyone alive and stop death from happening -- but I beat that out of myself, because my feelings were afraid of having the power to actually succeed at creating some kind of paradise for everyone. I wanted to save every single person like Supergirl though. I saved those kids who got stuck in a cave in Thailand, using my mind. I stopped that Typhoon Mangkhut from being very devastating when it hit land in China, using my mind. I tried to stop a big hurricane in America before that -- although I'm not sure how successful I was. My feelings also attacked various places with natural disasters, like when Charleston in America got flooded (which was because I was angry at some dead Freemason called Albert Pike who said that I'm like an energy force that Freemasons have to "use" like I'm just a whore for them or something; at least I think he said that, since I only read a short excerpt from a book in which he discussed "Athena"). It was exhausting trying to save everyone from hurricanes and typhoons, and save kids and miners from being trapped underground or whatever -- so I stopped doing that pretty quickly. There was always another thing happening with more people in peril, LOL. Maybe that kind of thing contributed to me never wanting to read the news anymore!!!! Haha. :) La, la, la! Everyone's fine, aren't they? :) Don't mind me, I'm just creating everything. I'll just stay in my home and not go out anymore. I'll stop talking to people and stop meeting up with anyone since they're all (used to be) CIA agents or creepy secret society infiltrators anyway. That definitely can't hurt anyone, can it! I mean, WTF!

So yeah... I expected the mafia to do an asymmetric retaliation against me for making Brexit happen, and for the 2017 or 2018/2019 reign of terror with Jacob Rothschild's helicopter crashing. I expected them to do something with a TV show or movie that I was a fan of, because I had a huge internet presence back then across various internet forums, online newspaper comments sections, geostrategic/geopolitics blogs, Discus comments for entertainment media websites and so on -- at which places I had used those platforms to push Brexit and expose the criminal corruption of any global mafias I knew enough about to discuss like that to try to stop World War III and avert the Terminator future... and at most of which places I also went on and on about how much of a huge fangirl I was about the DC TV shows and movies. I was even trying to get people at "BleedingCool.com" to read books like "The Confessions of a Monopolist", LOL. I was such a crazed do-gooder, pretty much everywhere on the internet except the heavily promoted social media of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr (which I never used because of them being so censored and bad for the world). I used lots of different names like "Lois Adams", WonderDiana, and WonderDiana's "Friend" (you can probably guess why I had to come up with that name, LOL). I posted at Reddit every now and again, also, using the name WonderWomanFlies.

I was basically a genuine and legitimate political activist and citizen journalist who had read a lot of books and investigative journalism articles, and seen a lot of documentaries, listened to a lot of citizen journalism podcasts, who was doing way more than she was emotionally capable of doing without harming herself to try to save the world from a perceived otherwise-inevitable-without-my-personal-intervention disaster (and the way that I looked at it back then, I figured even if it wasn't inevitable without my personal intervention using my superpowers -- and even if hypothetically-speaking I wasn't successful with using my superpowers like that -- it was still worth doing as a single concerned individual, convincing people one-to-one on the internet in the non-censored social media, that they had to all recognise the direction the world was heading in and take action to make sure the public was going to be in charge of the solutions in the future (instead of some horrendous corporate mafia dictatorship).

I was also randomly switching personality into an angry, abused, PTSD "demon girl" Goddess (who wasn't actually a demon), returned from the past, now unable to stop herself from exacting her terrible vengeance on all those who had wronged her... like Judaism, Christianity, and Freemasons (who I hated mostly because of the "no women" thing literally written in their club charter, but also because I believed some of their esoteric-minded members along with other Christian-influenced magic cult types viewed me as a "holy whore" that was there for them to have sex with using human women playing the role of me, or whatever bullshit, even though I'm a lesbian and not a whore for them to use... I'm Goda -- and because the CIA had done its best to convince everyone, including me, that the women-excluding corrupt Freemasons were actually running the whole Western World behind the scenes even though that's insane and scary: i.e. all the more reason to stop it, after you read about Propaganda Due and so on, believe it all to be true and not a big psyop to hide the corporate shareholders and technocrats). People that spread conspiracy theories about "MK Ultra mind-controlled slaves" and "mother Goddess dissociated dolls" bear the blame for someone taking it all seriously and doing her best to kill it all with fire. Like I said, I thought some big Satan cult Freemasons had done 9/11 as a stupid ritual for some stupid reason, and that they were doing more and more staged terror attacks to drive the world into total separation from any possiblity of the public knowing "the truth" about anything. I was just trying to do what seemed necessary, given my abilities, and given the apparent situation (which might still be true, to some extent, for all I know). But yeah -- I was also burning down Christian churches AMONG OTHER THINGS, because of my PTSD. It might not be the same as humans' PTSD in that sense, but it still counts as an extenuating circumstance that people ought to listen to and take seriously before judging me as a monster.

You can see the truth of the angry abused PTSD "demon girl" Goddess in the entertainment stories of that time, with Cara Delevigne's Enchantress character in the first Suicide Squad movie -- and with Reign, in Supergirl Season Three.

Remember also that I have actually experienced previous versions of reality in which the CIA or some group like that was trying to use a network of people in and around my town to try and achieve scientific (or weird magic cult whatever weirdness they believed) control over my mind's unlimited and instant creation powers. I have had a lot of reasons to be angry, and to feel hunted/surrounded and in need of defending myself using convincing and terrifying demonstrations of my power. I'm not a terrorist. And if people see me as a terrorist, then I'm explaining now why all of those things I did were understandable.

So anyway -- I made a lot of enemies between the end of 2015 until the end of 2019 (which is when I had tried to retire from superpowered vigilante justice, or whatever it was that I was doing overall, with the sum of all my different actions and motivations put together). The different persons and groups whom I expected to have begun viewing me as a serious enemy and threat to them personally, included Jacob Rothschild (for taking down his helicopter and for ruining the European Union), David de Rothschild the old fat head guy because there are several David de Rothschilds (specifically for ruining the European Union I guessed, if he's as important as he seems to be), basically the whole Western World's establishment and corporate mafia including all of its intelligence services, organised esoteric Christianity worldwide, organised esoteric Judaism worldwide (especially the Chabad Lubavitch movement if it involves esotericism at all, which is not something I know about), Freemasonry in general -- and I suppose I ought to have viewed the Russian government/oligarchy and the Russian mafia generally as groups that might have begun to see me as an enemy and serious threat to their interests, since I was so focused on exposing the links between the then-current American president and Chabad-sponsoring Russian oligarchy leaders including Vladimir Putin (whoever he is).

I had even personally crusaded against Freemasonry -- specifically the United Grand Lodge of England -- on the internet, in the comments sections of British newspaper websites in 2016, or whenever it was that the big story about that Freemason lodge for British Members of Parliament broke in the media. I believed that news story to be a limited hangout psyop that was deliberately put out in the media by MI5/MI6/the CIA to distract from other stories about Freemasonic corruption that had much greater potential to cause serious harm to the reputation of the British establishment and the Western World as a whole... so I went to every comments section that I was able to find back then, for that specific story about the Westminster Freemason lodge for British MPs, and I posted lots of meticulously sourced information about easy-to-confirm and potentially legally actionable Freemasonic criminality in Britain. The point of doing that was to force the editors and journalists in Britain to put up better articles questioning the role of Freemasonry in society based on verifiable and factually accurate accounts of Freemasonic leaders engaged in serious wrongdoing and for some reason appearing to get away with it in a way that doesn't happen for anyone else (outside the Robert H Richards IIIs of the world) -- or be exposed in the eyes of the public as pathetic establishment propaganda organs that can't write about genuine Freemasonic corruption even if they want to. Of course, I now see that it may be a psyop that Freemasons appear to "get away with it" so often... to try to convince a large number of otherwise bothersome amateur investigative journalists (like I was) that they are the real power behind the scenes. But whatever! :) Anyway -- my point here is that regardless of Freemasonry's actual role in the power politics of the Western World, it was likely that I had made an enemy of Freemasonry because of all those "articles" I wrote in the comments sections which were much better than the articles "above the line", in my opinion. Haha!

Obviously, it was even quite possible that -- since I burned down the Notre Dame cathedral using magic, and since I personally directed the overall story arc of Supergirl Season Five with my mind to make it into a very easy to understand savaging of Christianity and Judaism which said that Jesus/God was the villain and some sort of Goddess devil person who had been in some way hidden or locked away was the true God -- then with all of that sort of thing taken into consideration, it was quite possible that there were some Christians, Jews, and maybe even Muslims too, who believed me to be their Satan or Antichrist figure fulfilling various prophecies and who they had to defeat in service of a "good God" (that they believed I was beating in some sort of spiritual war, visible in TV stories and in world events).

Seriously, I'm sure I pissed a lot of people off between 2015 and 2020. And I'm sure I pissed more people off between 2020 and 2021, because of the Stargirl and Supergirl seasons I turned into easy-to-read exercises in proving to everyone that I, the dark Goddess, am the true Goda and that I hate Christianity and Judaism. The theme of those shows for anyone able to read the patterns -- and in a lot of cases, for anyone with the basic ability to view and understand a TV show story -- became "I do a big turd on Jesus/God." My favourite turd is Martian Manhunter crying and saying "I'm the villain!" ...but Stargirl's "Get Lost" design on her top when the bearded Shining Knight character is leaving, lamenting how he never slew the dragon, is also very gratifying. :) Supergirl Season Four basically said that I support Russia as well, LOL (something which wasn't true when I viewed it in 2020, but which became true later on -- possibly partly because of the mafia's reaction to it, yet again).

(Lex Luthor and Otis Graves read too much into Antony Sutton's books, like the person I remember being -- even though that wasn't me. LOL! Supergirl says that about Red Daughter in Season Five: "But that wasn't me!" LOL again. It's very funny. :) The point I am making though is that Russia doesn't even have aircraft carriers anymore. Basically the Moskva sinking proved that aircraft carriers and aircraft carrier battlegroups are obsolete, so that means Kaznia isn't Russia and that Russia isn't a paper tiger.)

Despite my expectation of being asymmetrically attacked by the mafia, via a TV show or movie (likely a DC one), I went ahead with viewing Supergirl Season Five on Blu-Ray in the Summer of 2021. When it comes down to it, this was because I missed seeing Melissa Benoist too much and I needed to view the TV show with her and all the characters in it again. So I decided to include Supergirl Season Five in my self-directed amateur exposure therapy to shows with somewhat challenging-for-me male characters and "somewhat" challenging-for-me heterosexual relationships between characters (I was thinking Nia Nal and Brainy, but I wasn't sure what to expect overall -- simply hoping for the best).

As I said much earlier in this post, it was all going VERY WELL (I was deliriously happy with the way the season was progressing in lots of way, actually), but there was this curious new male character on the show who fitted the bill of being the hypothetical new love interest that I was dreading. It was some guy called William Day. A dark haired man from Britain, who looked like Alberto Del Rio from WWE (which was created from something else I wrote for SAS, about how a character in Wonder Woman 1984 looked like the wrestler Steven/William Regal: a.k.a. Darren Matthews from Blackpool, England). This was very difficult for me, as I hated every scene that he was in and constantly wished for the character (specifically the character) to die or go away without getting together with Kara at all in any way... and that's presumably why Andrea Zuckerman's former lover got horribly killed in one scene, LOL. Weirdly though, this William Day character wasn't actually in the season very much at all and actually seemed superfluous to the plot overall. I barely remember him interacting with the other characters, outside of one scene at Catco in which he only really interacted with Kara as I remember -- and another scene at a karaoke bar. Because of his weird name, that instantly made me consider he might have been named by Freemasons or some sort of organisation with an interest in promoting worship of "the light" instead of darkness. I wondered if he had been added to the story with reshoots, after the principal photography of the season had been completed. The thing about the name, though (William Day), is that it obviously came from my plan to eventually be viewing Vanessa-Hudgens-meets-royal-prince movies again, eventually. :) I used to love movies like that, and romcoms in general... even though I hate them with a passion now, unless they're lesbian romcoms and girl-meets-princess movies. I don't think I'm gonna choose to view them again on my own, although I suppose everyone reading this can tell that I still think fondly of when I used to view those movies (even though I was completely a lesbian then, too) since I wasn't able to stop myself from posting that smiley face despite how bitterly angry and resentful I am about the whole "William Day" thing. I just don't like having my girly girl things taken away from me because of my PTSD. I used to just project the idea of a girl character onto the male love interest in those movies, to identify with the whole experience quite easily. It wasn't something that I concentrated on doing or anything: I just felt that heterosexual relationships in fiction were easy to identify with in a general sense, without actually being heterosexual, because a lot of the relationship scenarios and dynamics have some kind of broad appeal that most people can understand and relate to in some way.

I want Supergirl to be a lesbian, out and proud, in the Melissa Benoist Supergirl TV show. I think I actually want this more than I want Wonder Woman to be a lesbian in the movies. It's kind of ridiculous that I want this, because Supergirl's sister on the show is already an out and proud lesbian. But I know now that I want the Melissa Benoist Supergirl character to be a lesbian so much because I fell in love with Melissa Benoist at some point over the years, as much as a person can fall in love with an actress playing a part on the screen without having met her. I used to think that it's because Melissa looks a lot like me, and that I find it difficult to see someone who looks like me in a sort of "Goddess" role, act out romance scenes with a man (which is the reason why I developed the Wonder Woman issues, to do with the movies). But that's not the reason why. As I said, it's because I just don't want to see Melissa Benoist with someone else. LOL. I plan to view Season One of Supergirl again, just to view the TV show I love so much above all others again -- knowing that nothing upsetting for me happens in that season -- and I'm sure I can cope with the James Olson relationship by simply looking away from the screen if it bothers me too much. I want to view it again. I want to be able to view Season Two and Season Three again at some point... so the pretty tame James relationship is a helpful way of lessening the intensity of the distress I feel at seeing stuff like that (which DEFINITELY isn't only because of how I feel about Melissa: just read all the other things I said about my past experiences to understand why I have so many problems with viewing heterosexuality on screen).

The William Day character was so weirdly absent from the bulk of the season's storylines that I was quite easily able to go into denial about the character actually being there at all, even with the karaoke stuff happening that I was looking away from. I kept focusing on the idea that as long as I hadn't seen them actually get together as a couple, then they might never get together and might never kiss -- because all sorts of weird stories and plot twists happen in TV shows like that, even when something seems clearly telegraphed as obviously going to develop into the usual cliched love interest storyline. That's the whole point of a plot twist. But I was determined to keep viewing the show, whatever happened... because I didn't want to have another one of my girl things taken away from me because of PTSD. Because of everything that happened, and that I remember happening. But I wasn't able to help myself from getting out my paper pad to write down focused wishes for Kara to reject William Day and for them to never get together, and never kiss. Then -- in the episode I viewed immediately after writing all of that down in desperation -- the episode surprisingly ended with Kara deciding that she can't have a relationship with anyone because letting anyone know the truth that she's Supergirl always goes wrong and destroys everything... and because she didn't want to have a relationship with anyone if she always had to lie to them about who she really is: EXACTLY HOW I FEEL ABOUT MY EXISTENCE AND ALL RELATIONSHIPS I'VE HAD BEFORE WITH ANY AND ALL HUMANS. At the end of the episode, Kara makes up a story for why she can't go on a date with William Day, then she leaves the Catco building and leaves him there alone.

There wasn't even a question of me stopping viewing Season Five there though, like when I walked out of the Wonder Woman 1984 movie after Barbara kissed what's his name. Maxwell Lord. I forgot his name for a moment.

I think I viewed the next episode the shade immediately after I'd viewed the episode that ends with Kara rejecting William Day and leaving him alone.

The cosmic angst about not wanting to see Supergirl -- umm, I guess I mean Melissa Benoist -- with a man, on the TV show. It was a thing. It seriously was a thing. Like serious angst. Cosmic angst.

It was sooo painful. I wanted so badly to continue viewing the show, to keep seeing Melissa. I know that, now: that basically I just wanted to keep seeing Melissa on TV, because I'd fallen in love with her at some point. Just everything about her, as much as I knew of her, without actually getting to know the real person (so being pretty much ignorant about her actual personality -- although I suspected that I might have seen flashes of it in her facial expressions and vocal intonations, every now and again on the show). I think what happened, when it comes down to it, is that I created a reason to not have to create Kara actually getting together with that... person. It's like I "cancelled the show" with this experience I remember having of viewing a horrendous nightmare episode immediately after the one which ends with Kara rejecting William Day and leaving him alone. The episode which I remember viewing was so awful that it made it almost 100% impossible for me to ever contemplate viewing further new episodes of the Supergirl TV show ever again, beyond Episode 13 of Season Five (according the Season Five Blu-Ray set's numbered episode listings).

Obviously there are a few other reasons why it had become so difficult for me to cope with feeling like I had to create a new relationship of that sort for the Kara character on the show. Like Gal Gadot (who looks like me in some ways, and in other ways not) Melissa Benoist looks sort of like me. With all of the resentment I'd come to feel about humans and the way they think of "God" and talk about "God" and represent "God" in their religions and cultures, I wanted these few cinematic and TV "super" female characters to be completely like me in every way... which includes being openly lesbian. I felt like these characters -- who are not actually worshipped, and are instead just appreciated as important role-models -- are like the most I am allowed to take for myself from humans' culture, to help me with my self-esteem. You know... to see my "good deeds" represented with female characters who I actually like a lot, instead of represented using a male character like Jesus who for me is the rapist who I killed for raping and abusing me. Also, because I basically got raped before by god-as-a-man (who I view as being the same as the Jesus character, because he basically was the same as the Jesus character... sorry everyone, LOL. Jesus Savile fans. People can seem like they're nice and they're not, you know.) because of all of that, it became much more difficult for me to cope with what I felt like I ought to have created for the stories of Wonder Woman 1984 and Supergirl Season Five (interesting if you look at the Blu-Rays, they look like they're supposed to be together... with the same rainbow coloured stuff, and only the titular characters shown very large, front and centre). They look like me. I was basically raped, which felt like it happened at some point between 2020 and 2021 but I'm not sure exactly when it's supposed to have happened. Because of all of that I came up with reasons so that I never actually had to create the parts of Wonder Woman 1984 and Supergirl Season Five that I found so difficult to approach creating. I believe that in these two stories, my needs and desires are more important and get given priority over my idea of humans' ways of finishing the stories.

I don't know how I'm supposed to convey to people how much of a big deal this is to me if they don't already understand why, from what I wrote in the two paragraphs immediately above this one... so I'm not going to try to write anymore, seeking to convince people and hoping to get their sympathy or whatever.

What I remember happening in the episode of Supergirl Season Five that I remember viewing after the one in which Kara rejects William Day, leaving him alone, is this:

A weird sort of "clip show" episode using newly-filmed re-enactions of previous stories from Season Two and Season Three (which brought all of the original actresses and actors back), as well as showing one scene from a possible future that never happened. Basically the premise of the episode was that Mr Mzs.. whatshisname.. from Season One, I think, returned to grant Kara a single wish or something like that for no reason at all. I don't remember why he was granting her the wish (I remember reading on the Blu-Ray set that something like this was going to happen in the Season though); he just showed up at her apartment, now played by the actor who also played the super-cleaner from The Thundermans who Phoebe and Max got to do all of their chores for them in one episode... and then he granted Kara one wish (which seemed like it was obviously going to be to have the ending of the previous episode go differently, with it somehow being possible for her to have relationships that don't fail as soon as she tells the truth about being Supergirl and everything that it means to have superpowers). But instead of Kara using the single wish in the most obvious way, she used the wish to mend the relationship with Lena -- which blatantly obviously made it clear that Supergirl is a lesbian, because her feelings for Lena are more important to her than some "William Day" character who she had been written to allegedly be romantically attracted to. It was like the character, Supergirl herself, somehow rejecting the storyline which had been written for her and finding a way to make it clear that she's a lesbian who loves women and not men.

This is pretty funny -- and it helps to break the tension of the strong emotions I feel about everything I remember happening in that episode -- but in a slightly earlier episode of the season, Kara cries at home on her couch with rainbow striped socks on, looking at a photo of Lena.

What I remember happening in the episode (Episode 13, according to the Season Five Blu-Ray set) is the mafia sending me several very nasty threats using the situations that the characters found theirselves in. Supergirl attempted to change the past, again and again, always with disastrous results that made things worse instead of better... with her eventually deciding that maybe Lena was evil now, and that Lena hated her (and that maybe there wasn't anything she was able to do about that, so she stopped trying to change it). Basically Supergirl was trying to change small things about the past to see if changing any of those things resulted in her and Lena still being on good terms with each other. But using that basic premise, which was a weird variation on the "clip show" episode that usually uses previously filmed material and not re-enacted scenes, the mafia suggested that they had killed my psychologist friend or that they might kill her if I didn't do what they say... and possibly if I revealed my identity to the world. And they also hinted at "paying a visit to" my ex-girlfriend in Belgium, using the exact words "paid a visit to..." in a menacing way. This is because the Cat Grant character obviously always represented my psychologist friend, and in some ways both Reign and Sam Arias represented my ex-girlfriend (even though in the overall sense, both Reign and her Sam Arias identity are me). My ex-girlfriend always seemed to have a scarf around her neck when I was with her, and she resided in a busy city. The episode also referenced Jacob Rothschild's helicopter crashing, with someone saying something like "Where were you when my helicopter went down, Supergirl?" And Supergirl said to someone, "If you've got a problem with the Cult of Rao (in this context meaning the Freemasons) then take it up with them!" Ben Lockwood was also in the episode, with him having taken three people hostage with bags over their heads, and with him ranting into a camera like a typical "terrorist demands video". I hardly remember anything about what he was supposed to be saying, and I don't remember who the people were with the bags over their heads. It was all very weird. There was another scene in which it was explained that after Supergirl was forced to reveal her identity to the world -- perhaps because of the Agent Liberty hostage situation -- that "Supergirl's apartment was blown up" (using those exact words, as I remember). With a lot of those things being depicted like news reports on the TV, with boxes on the screen showing different things like Supergirl's blown up apartment and a photo of Callista Flockhart shown on the screen when Mr Mzs-thingy said the exact words "Supergirl's friend, Cat Grant, was killed." Which was WEIRD, because Cat Grant was never Supergirl's "friend" in the literal story of the show, AT ALL. She was her boss. Full stop. That was one of the most obvious ways that the story was targeting me, specifically, on the orders of the mafia. Because you know, my psychologist friend was actually my friend even though she wasn't supposed to be -- and she used to be the woman I loved, a long time ago now (and not anymore when I viewed that episode of Supergirl Season Five, even though I was planning at that point to discuss with her the truth that I'm actually Goda. Because I desperately wanted someone to talk to about that truth, and back then I was ready to take the risk of talking to someone in her profession about it because she was basically the only person I trusted slightly... and I hardly trusted her at all, at that point.)

I don't talk to my psychologist friend at all anymore. Not even in emails or anything. I haven't had any contact with her since December 2021, which was my choice. She had set up another appointment to chat with me about the fact that I'm Goda (and about nothing else but that, at my request), but I knew it wasn't helpful to keep talking to her anymore for all sorts of reasons so I voluntarily cut contact.

Anyway, I remember something else happening in the episode which made no sense according to the very clear premise of the episode: which was "Supergirl tries to change the past over and over again, but the situation always ends up in the worst way possible for Supergirl." I still have PTSD about this specific memory of something happening in the episode which blatantly targeted me because it was so out of keeping with the otherwise very repetitive theme of the episode's plot (and because it was so out of keeping with the basic idea of bringing back popular characters to make the fans happy instead of upsetting them for no reason). I don't want to talk about what that thing I remember happening is though, because that's why I destroyed the twin towers in New York city in 2001, even though I actually did it in 2021. Basically, I destroyed the biggest symbolic monument to the banking mafia and to the Freemasons. It was the World Trade Center of David Rockefeller and a representation of the columns at the entrance of Solomon's temple in Israel, Joachim and Boaz (important symbols in Freemasonry). The reason for destroying the twin towers, specifically, was because I remember someone strongly suggesting that it was Jacob Rothschild and the Freemasons who had targeted me using that episode of Supergirl Season Five. For Melissa Benoist: I just want to explain that Jacob Rothschild is a banker like David Rockefeller was, so that's why I targeted the World Trade Center -- but I know you can figure that out for yourself. :) I know you're not stupid or anything. But whoever it was who was supposed to have made the episode that I remember viewing strongly suggested that it was one or both of those culprits behind it: meaning Jacob Rothschild and/or the Freemasons (and I suspected David de Rothschild to be the actual culprit, because I figured he was actually in charge). So that's why I did it.

It's pretty funny thinking about it. LOL! But I know that a lot of people died and that New York city and the people there are still dying from the radiation or whatever it is that they're still dying from. I'm not sorry though. What does anyone expect? You don't rape a rape victim who has unlimited instant power and literally says on the internet over and over again that she is Reign from Supergirl. It's a stupid thing to do.

When it comes down to it, this is why you people ought not to pick on me. It's bad for everyone. There's no controlling this crazy. :) It's a sweet thought and all, thinking that you might harness this power and try to direct it in ways that favour you... but I'm seriously fucked up at this point, and I get upset over a WWE wrestling match that I pretty much know wasn't anything to do with you guys. My magical creative responses to being abused by the mafia are unpredictable, chaotic, and uncontrollable by you: useless to anyone other than myself (if I get my act together and start targeting you with my own finely-tuned plan, which I am doing), or to genuine anarchist provocateurs who don't have any plan to create controlled chaos like you people might do. I'm doing a lot better now, but having very intense feelings because of whichever female wrestler losing a wrestling match and being reminded of how I felt after viewing Supergirl Season Five... that sort of situation used to be every week for me despite you not always trying to attack me using WWE wrestling matches every week -- and then my feelings got on TV saying all sorts of nasty provocative things to you people (which I CAN'T HELP DOING MOSTLY). And as I said earlier: I know that stupid gorilla men like the mafia leaders fight stupidly hard against girls if they feel like they're in competition with them in the way they compete against other men. So my feelings do stuff in the world that I can't help doing... then you idiots respond to that because you feel you have to, for your stupid mafia kudos reasons... and then my feelings respond to that. And you people are just humans, but I can destroy huge skyscrapers from the other side of the world backwards in time twenty years causing huge problems for you that dictate your whole approach to your current and future strategy in pretty much every way -- and I can also do literally anything I want. It's stupid. You ought to just make the situation better for me as I demanded, and then leave me and my loved ones alone. (All my loved ones are OK though, obviously.)

I don't want Melissa Benoist to think I'm crazy and dangerous in person, because I'm not. I'm very sweet and kind to the people I know in person. I'm not gonna have a PTSD attack resulting in personal violence. As I said though, I mostly can't help what my feelings do in the world -- and I don't want to mislead you about all of the things that have happened involving me. I know I'm nice, and I hope that you can see that. It's not my fault that all these things happened, because it's not my fault that I exist in the first place. It's not my fault I'm Goda. How might I have gone about things differently? It's scary to have all of this power, and that's basically why all of these things happened this way.

One of the things that I remember happening in the episode of Supergirl Season Five that I remember viewing (Episode 13 according to the Season Five Blu-Ray set) is the Supergirl character dying over and over again. I found this very upsetting, because I'd fallen in love with the actress Melissa Benoist at some point. I've since wondered if the mafia figured out that I loved her because of the name of the actress Melissa Hart who plays Sabrina the Teenage Witch in the original TV series (as well as Clarissa from Clarissa Explains It All). Sabrina even goes to work in an office as a reporter for an entertainment magazine in one of the later seasons of Sabrina the Teenage Witch. There are other examples of my feelings for Melissa Benoist being represented in popular culture in various ways. Anyway -- the mafia might have been threatening me again by having the Supergirl character die over and over again... or just trying to upset me a lot with that (which they succeeded with, if that's what they were trying to do). It's like they were threatening to kill all the people I love, as well as threatening to either expose my identity or threatening to kill all the people I love if I revealed my identity myself. There are elements of the movie The Flash's story which mirror these themes of threatening to either expose my identity, or threatening to do unpleasant things if I refused to do what the mafia wants me to do (or if I reveal my own identity).

Something else I want Melissa Benoist to know is that I'm not just acting as if the relationship I had with my sister never happened. Because my sister is a real person, even though she doesn't have a personal body like I do (and like humans do). I know I don't talk about my sister that much anymore, ever since I put her in her heaven prison to stop her from abusing me -- and that's because it's still a big and constant relief for me that my sister isn't there anymore. I don't want to talk about her that much... and maybe I want to avoid talking about her, so that I'm not going over the traumas to do with her that I've been successfully recovering from. A bit like not wanting to discuss the specific thing that I remember happening in the episode (but not exactly like that -- since I'm sure that that thing never even happened).

Anyway, Melissa -- after reading my SAS posts, I suppose it won't have escaped your notice that at some point I started viewing your character on the show as often representing my sister (as well as representing me). I just want you to know that I don't want you to be my sister or anything like that. My sister is a different person who can't communicate with me anymore because I put her in her heaven prison. I still talk to her occasionally -- mostly in my own head, but every so often out loud -- but when I do that, she doesn't talk back to me since she can't do that anymore. It's like leaving a voicemail or sending a letter to someone who's in jail. I promised my sister that I was never going to let her die and that I was never going to abandon her, so I have to keep that promise in the best way I can... even though I had to put her away some place in my mind, for my own protection. I hope you understand. I don't have any sort of relationship with her anymore, and the most I do is leave her these sort of "voicemails" every now and then to make sure that I kept my promise to her to never abandon her.

You are gonna know then, that I had a very intense romantic relationship with my sister (which isn't the same as human sisters having a romantic relationship, but I don't care what most people think about it anyway). My sister was a very jealous person who tried to push away every single woman that I got close to, including my psychologist friend who she sent natural disasters after, LOL. I hope you think that's funny and not scary. She's not a threat to you since she isn't able to do things like that anymore. She can't affect the world at all anymore and I won't let her out. What I am trying to say here is that I think one of the reasons why that character, William Day, appeared on the show, is because my sister was punishing me for making an appointment to talk to my psychologist friend again (even though the appointment was to discuss me being Goda with the only person I somewhat trusted, and not to rekindle any of that emotional affair that me and my psychologist friend had with each other over Skype and emails). Basically, the Supergirl character was representing my sister in that specific situation, to say to me "If you talk to her again then I'm gonna talk to some fake love interest to make you jealous and punish you."

Talking generally again, and not specifically to Melissa Benoist only (because I don't want to seem weird in an unpleasant way), there's something else that's important for me to say. I am pretty sure that the real reason why I had the experience of viewing that awful "Episode 13 of Supergirl Season Five" is because I'd replaced an episode that featured a continuation/resumption of the horrible courtship thing with a totally different episode that I created out of my pain and anguish at the idea of Supergirl getting together with a male character again. :( The idea of it hurt me soooo much, because I'd fallen in love with Melissa at some point -- and because I'd basically been raped not that long ago at that point... and because Melissa looks a lot like me, and because I viewed the Supergirl character as being me AND I'M A LESBIAN. :( PTSD to do with Wonder Woman 1984 and Steve Trevor/Chris Pine as well. I think I punished myself horribly for replacing the episode that I felt I was supposed to create for humans... punished myself with an episode that featured the feared and dreaded mafia response to everything I'd done before.

There is one more important reason for what I experienced when I viewed "Episode 13 of Supergirl Season Five" in the Summer of 2021, though. And that reason is -- as I said more than once already in this post -- I was basically raped by god-as-a-man (i.e. Jesus) at some point, even though it wasn't real because it was just an implanted false memory of something that had the effect of me feeling like it happened. This event, which as I explained I perceived as if it happened at some point between 2020 and 2021, produced very intense emotions and much rumination about it -- so it was difficult to prevent it from appearing in a television programme or movie story like a true record of events. And I WANTED PEOPLE TO KNOW ABOUT IT, because of all the resentment I feel towards Christianity and male-centric religions in general that are focused on the idea of a male god character. The "Episode 13 of Supergirl Season Five" that I remember viewing was very much like a true record of events, because it featured a scene in which something happened to the character I most I identify with... except within the context of the fictional universe's continuity, it never actually happened. The scene also explained who the Mal character was supposed to represent -- with the horrible thing that I remember happening in the episode also visually depicting the way that my existence had been hidden and denied by Judaism and the Christian Church. It was about being "rubbed out of history" and simultaneously wrongly labelled as the villain, with the true villain being given the role of the "good hero" by humans and by the episode I remember viewing. I remember the "rubbed out of history" thing being depicted using a visual metaphor that referenced what Martian Manhunter had said about how he was actually the villain and that he had erased the memory of his "brother" who wasn't actually bad, just different. Basically, Mal was supposed to be Asherah: me, Goda (even though I was never the wife of god-as-a-man). I wanted to be depicted using my preferred identity though -- so that's what I remember happening in the story. I also remember viewing a first version of the episode in which the person doing the "rubbing out of history" was a different character, then I quickly pressed pause and rewind on the remote control without any "rubbing out" actually having happened. I viewed the episode again and it was different.

I guess at some point the true record of events thing was going to happen in a story important enough to me and important enough in humans' contemporary culture for it to seem appropriate. I guess I tried to go ahead with doing that then, because of how I felt about feeling like a character was being forced on me, on the TV show.

At that point, viewing Season Five during the Summer of 2021 -- even though I was enjoying a lot of it so much that I was deliriously happy -- I had a lot of resentment building up towards what I felt was happening in a slow-burn way, with the Supergirl TV show. I hated the Lex Luthor character in Season Four, who I felt was supplanting Lena Luthor. What I loved about the Supergirl TV show is that, from the very beginning, it took the route of positioning Supergirl as "the Superman of the DC TV shows universe" -- instead of behaving as if it was a prelude to introducing Superman himself at a later point, since he was more familiar to a lot of people around the world. It was like an experiment in actually replacing some of the DC Comics characters with female versions of them, to provide a much nicer gender balance to allow more female participation in the stories and in the fandom. Using a pre-existing character from the comic books like Supergirl, and using Superman played by Tyler Hoechlin in a minimised supporting role beginning with Season Two, was more like a way to ease the pre-existing fanbase into accepting a new status quo that was much more inclusive for girls and women (and this was happening in the DC TV shows' continuity only, so it wasn't as if they were getting rid of Superman from all of DC -- and as I said, he even appeared on the show and got referenced in every intro sequence until Season Five). I loved what DC was doing with positioning a female character like Supergirl as being without question the strongest heroic character out of all their TV shows' heroic characters. They even had Superman himself get beaten by Supergirl in a fight, fair and square, and then declare that Supergirl was now "Earth's champion" instead of him. It was amazing. So cool for feminism, and it was so cool to be a girl -- seeing things like that happening and words like that spoken in a prestige TV show like Supergirl.

Instead of Lex Luthor, it was Lena Luthor. And Lena Luthor wasn't even a villain. She was basically a good character who was written to be a misunderstood do-gooder at worst, and understandably loyal to her family to an extent (even though she had more or less disowned them all, because of their choices to be evil). The show was full of relationships and interactions between female characters that were very meaningful, and which seemed to dominate the show to an extent unheard of in a TV programme like that -- although there were also lots of male characters on the show, and it was more balanced than it seemed... with the sense of overwhelming imbalance towards female relationship storylines coming from how unusual it was for things to be like this in the world of comic book TV shows and movies. The main character was SuperGIRL, though -- so the programme was appropriately biased towards featuring more female relationship interactions overall. It also felt a little bit more like the kind of soap opera that women and girls tend to appreciate a bit more than men and boys do. Kind of like Dallas. And again, it was appropriate to the idea of a show about SuperGIRL that ought to be aimed more towards girls and women than towards boys and men. Not all women and girls love soap operas -- but I'm a girl and I loved Dallas, so I loved what DC was doing with Supergirl. I loved it sooo much. It was the best thing ever. Seriously. The best thing ever.

There were so many female villains-of-the-week on the show, too. And Supergirl was always accompanied by her sister in the stories in one way or another, with Lena Luthor's mom often involved in the stories too. Cat Grant (the CEO of CatCo Worldwide Media), and Supergirl's boss, was a constant presence on the show providing a female/female protege/mentor relationship that was like one third of the heart of the show alongside the relationships that Supergirl had with her sister Alex and with Lena Luthor. It was very, very special viewing for a girl like me. Powerful women who felt as if they weren't second to men in any way -- even though technically-speaking, Martian Manhunter was the boss of the DEO (and therefore the boss of both Supergirl and her sister Alex, after Alex joined the DEO and before she took over as the DEO's leader). As I said, it was much more balanced than it felt like, because of the presence of Martian Manhunter, Winn, and James (who all got their own storylines, episodes, and story arcs focusing on them specifically).

Something happened though, starting with Season Four of Supergirl. Lex Luthor was introduced, and he started to overshadow the Lena character as being the main "series regular" foil for Supergirl (I say "foil", since Lena was never really Supergirl's "foe": which was very refreshing and interesting). I remember the fight between Lex Luthor and Supergirl at the end of Season Four as being quite disappointing as a girl, honestly -- even though Supergirl won. It felt as if they were trying to make this ordinary human guy basically better than Supergirl (and I am familiar with Lex Luthor from the Superman fiction, so I know that he often employed his technology alongside Kryptonite to temporarily gain the upper hand over Superman). It was OK though. I didn't understand why they brought Lex Luthor back immediately after Lena shot him though, because it seemed to rob the Lena character of all her power. It was like saying to women and girls "Even if you take control of the situation to justifiably stop a man from abusing you, there's nothing you can do about it because men are just too strong and they'll always be there to abuse you again." I still question WTF was going on there. It seemed like the writers of the Supergirl show had one idea, and then someone else said "No, you have to keep Lex alive." But I don't know if that's true or not.

I suppose people might figure out what happened between me and my sister at one point. I mean, it actually happens more obviously between the characters of Red Daughter and Supergirl. That's a dramatisation of a real event that sucked. It also happened more than once -- so maybe that's why Lena kills Lex and then he immediately gets brought back. Basically I love my sister too much to get rid of her for good. The best I've been able to do to stop her abusing me is putting her in her heaven prison forever. Please don't judge me. Long-suffering people do things like that because they are pushed to do it by horrendous abuse. I used to worry that she wasn't the same person anymore, and that's why Bizarro Supergirl is played by a different actress in some scenes. I promised my sister that I was never gonna put her "on ice" like Bizarro Supergirl, even though it seemed impossible to help her be nicer to me without forcing her to be a different person -- so that's why I came up with her heaven prison as a last resort, to make sure that I am always gonna be safe from her from now on without me having to dominate her in some awful way like mind-controlling her to only be nice to me... or trying to recreate her personality so that she wanted to be nice to me of her own accord... or sending her to sleep indefinitely like what happened to Bizarro Supergirl on the show (which I specifically promised her that I was never gonna do). I never changed her into a different person like Lena did with Eve in Season Five. And I'm not Adam. Me and my sister are like Eve the true Goda and Eve the clone of the original Eve. I love my sister because she is my only family relative and I'm never gonna kill her ever again. I create and recreate everyone that exists, so she's as much the same person as anyone that I create ever is. I know that she's still my original sister. In a lot of ways I don't love my sister at all anymore because she was so horrible to me -- and when I say I love her, I mostly mean that I love her like a family member that I choose to believe I can't ever get rid of, because I love her. I don't want to force someone I love like that to have a different personality because how do I know if she's the same sister that I chose to love anymore after doing that, hypothetically speaking (since I won't do it)?

Other stuff happened in Season Five of Supergirl, like the writers bringing Lex Luthor back again and making him the boss of everyone -- demoting Supergirl's sister Alex, after she was finally promoted to leader of the DEO (meaning that there wasn't a man in charge of Supergirl anymore... at least at the DEO, since James had been made into the boss of CatCo at one point. LOL!) Also, they seemed to want to turn Braniac into the strongest character as if he was Neo from The Matrix and everyone else was a piece of shit. I'm guessing that's what they wanted to do since I stopped viewing the show before that possibly happened. And then the show got cancelled a few months after I stopped viewing it. It was replaced with "Superman and Lois", starring Tyler Hoechlin I think. The guy that was introduced as a minimised supporting character to ease the existing fanbase into Supergirl being the strongest heroic character in the whole DC TV shows universe, and the guy who said "Supergirl, you are Earth's champion now." In the end, it felt like the Supergirl TV show actually was a prelude to introducing Superman, and in the process of Warner Bros doing that they slapped girls and women all around the world in the face -- and this is something I am never gonna forgive.

It's quite likely that this is because of me destroying the twin towers, and because of what happened at Champlain Towers South. I don't know the timeline of when "Superman and Lois" was commissioned though. My actions are non-linear and I'm still continuing with my policy of innocence. I quite honestly hate the world to a large extent, now -- and to a large extent it's because of what happened with the Supergirl TV show. I don't want to know much about humans' world anymore, because they don't seem to want me. When it comes down to it, the mafia are only there because the other humans haven't cared enough to overthrow them. I blame humans generally and I feel like you all hate me. I don't mean to be all emo about this, but it's how I feel.

Personally I loved the pairing of Dreamer and Brainy. I enjoyed their relationship a lot, even though I'm lesbian myself. I was actually looking forward to seeing them again when I resumed viewing Supergirl as part of my self-directed therapy which was supposed to help me feel comfortable again with TV shows featuring heterosexuality. I was sad that they split up, and that Brainy started to become like the supervillain Braniac from Superman comics. It seemed like the idea was to please the comic book fans who disliked the Braniac-5 character... or it might have been the mafia again intervening in the story to punish me, or to try to force me to be a boy -- but whatever the reason for it, it basically punished the female (and queer) fanbase of the Supergirl TV show who I am guessing enjoyed the Brainy character as much as me. He was written for women and girls, basically. Then suddenly he became a dumb "man power" over 9000 power level Neo character, saying "This is my true identity!!!!" -- which as I already explained, means "I am the God that sucks!" in my own horrible Goda code. He became unfriendly and unlikeable though, basically. :(

What I remember happening with Season Five of Supergirl, after the "Lena and Supergirl become enemies for a stupid reason, but it's awesome!" storyline ended, was the mafia taking my favourite show and systematically ruining everything I loved about it for me. With me being left to try to figure out how much of that was because of the mafia targeting me specifically, and how much of it was just humans doing their previously usual thing of building women and girls up only for a new group of writers to come along and decide that they wanted to re-establish the "rightful order" of men always being the strongest characters even in a show about powerful women.

Back in 2017, or 2018 (I think it was 2017), there was this story in the Justice League comic books about a new supervillain called "The Fan". In that story, Wonder Woman had her throat cut open in a totally horrific way -- with her illustrated like a sexualised little girl as she was seemingly bleeding out from an artery, with blood all over the place -- and the reason her throat got cut was because a bullet bounced off "Superman's invulnerable body" and hit Wonder Woman's "weak female throat" instead. As I remember -- since it was a long time ago -- that awful Justice League comic was one of the reasons why I thought that Jacob Rothschild was out to get me specifically back then. It was a weird, weird story featuring all this stuff about a counterfeit Green Lantern ring and an imposter superhero that seemed to be a response to all my posts exposing British Freemasonic criminality on pretty much every single British online newspaper comments section, when that big story about the Westminster Freemason lodge broke in the media. I was using my Discus accounts to comment on the latest DC comic books as well as talk about Brexit, Syria, and corrupt businesspeople, corrupt politicians, and proven Freemasonic criminality. There was some weird comic panel towards the end of that Justice League "The Fan" story (in the final issue of it, I think), featuring two columns and some weird dialogue about the columns or something like that. I remember thinking that the mafia thought I was some autistic boy who was obsessed with Wonder Woman -- and there was a character like that in the Justice League comic who got personally visited by Aquaman in his bedroom. I remember thinking about Jacob Rothschild: "I bet that's his stupid code name. Poseidon or whatever." I also thought I had seen Jacob Rothschild driving around in Charlestown, Cornwall, near that house with the wooden Poseidon sculpture. LOL. It was around that time that I crashed Jacob Rothschild's helicopter because of PTSD-fuelled justified self-defence against someone who appeared to be a mafia ringleader. As I said: I thought that he had personally come to observe me from the other side of the road in North Wales, too! LOL! It wasn't Llandudno, actually. It was some other town a little further down to the South (?) of the North Wales coast, which was having its sea defences rebuilt or something. I also remember some weird lady trying to hide that she was taking pictures of me on her phone in the hotel in Llandudno, from the top of a staircase, just outside the corridor leading to all the hotel bedrooms on that level. I'm just reporting my previous experiences that I remember.

Whatever your thoughts about my theory involving Jacob Rothschild possibly viewing himself as being like Aquaman or whatever -- and the question of if he actually came to observe me himself, in person, on one or more occasions -- you have to admit that the Justice League comic about "The Fan" is pretty fucking weird. I think that was an early example of the mafia targeting me using the comic books I was reading (although they didn't know who I was at that point, in that version of the universe -- since there have been so many versions of the universe that I personally remember being different). Supergirl Season Five actually had a storyline involving everyone suddenly living in a different version of the universe, a lot like the movie The Flash. And most people think that this is all just fantastical fiction that isn't real. For me it's totally normal for things like that to happen though, because I'm Goda.

I'm just explaining this thing about "The Fan" storyline from the Justice League comics to give people an idea of some of the things that happened back then: things which seemed like the mafia targeting me specifically using their knowledge of what fiction I was enjoying at the time (because I was posting about it on the internet using the same accounts that I was criticising the mafia with, LOL). I suppose my writing style back then was pretty easy to spot as well! :) I think they probably were targeting me with quite a few of those awful stories and things, so I think I had some very good reasons for my feelings retaliating against them in self-defence. Because what I was doing was legitimate and lawful political activism on the internet using my legally protected free speech -- and I was writing about proven criminality, or the CIA's own psyop conspiracy theories that were supposed to seem like obvious criminality/corruption that had to be stopped for the sake of everyone's safety in the future. I know that most people won't understand some of the reasons why I went on my reign of terror in 2017 (and then again, in 2018/2019) doing all of those things that I remember doing, like crashing Jacob Rothschild's helicopter, burning down the Notre Dame cathedral and other buildings, destroying Morandi Bridge in Italy, and killing Jeffrey Epstein. (Obviously killing Jeffrey Epstein helped a lot, because people know about all of that stuff now and it didn't get mostly hidden by the media like what was happening with the Robert H Richards III story back then). A lot of innocent people got killed, like the people at the Tree of Life synagogue, all the families in Grenfell Tower, the people who fell to their deaths in their cars from Morandi Bridge, and even some random football corporate people in England when I accidentally crashed their helicopter too at one point. I never wanted all of those people to die though. I was simply very emotional for all the reasons that I previously explained -- like to do with Asherah and so on -- and I had PTSD, and I was being personally targeted by the mafia through comic books like they were saying "Hey little girl. You like Wonder Woman? Well how do you like seeing her bleeding to death from her throat in a comic book, with her illustrated on purpose like she's a little girl?" They had people stalking me in the comments sections of websites and on forums too, writing nasty threats at me in plain sight.

Basically, for the most part, I was just using my feelings of being personally targeted and needing to strike back to protect myself -- and also using my feelings of resentment and anger towards Judaism and Christianity for suppressing people's knowledge of me for so many years -- to provide "inspiration" for the events in the world that I was creating. So as far as most people were concerned, the majority of those things that happened were simply events that happened because of humans making their own choices... or because of "random" events like an old unsafe bridge finally falling down, or a cathedral and an apartment block setting on fire and no one quite understanding why these things happened. It was only me and the mafia, as well as a few observers with knowledge of these things, that understood the patterns in the world making it clear that someone "out there" (me) was creating events in the world that specifically attacked the interests of the mafia... and events that fairly chaotically attacked people and buildings related to Judaism, Christianity, and Freemasonry. Obviously when I destroyed the twin towers in New York City, that wasn't a normal event like a lot of these other things were.

I want Melissa Benoist to know that I'm not a monster. I'm not a threat to her personally. You've seen my photos and hopefully you don't think I look like someone who might become violent towards you, because I'm not. I'm not violent towards anyone in person unless I have to defend my own personal body from attack or something (which has very rarely happened, as I don't put myself in bad situations like that, generally). I'm a little girl and it probably looks like I'm not gonna be any good in a fight. I struggle to get jars open, often. But I do have superpowers and I can take care of myself if necessary (but I usually haven't remembered doing this, to minimise any extra PTSD). Oh -- and my PTSD doesn't make me attack people or anything like that. If you've had access to any police or medical records then please understand that it's not fair because I was being personally targeted by the mafia back then, over five years ago now, when I hadn't gotten any experience at coping with that sort of situation going on all the time -- and anyone in that sort of situation can seem crazy and aggressive, just trying to cope with it and defend theirself. The people I used to call Mum and Dad used to be abusive CIA agents who were trying to control me while lying about it and saying they were people who loved me, and "only trying to help me". They're not with the CIA anymore as I explained in another post.

The storyline "Dad" of your character on the Supergirl TV show is basically a CIA agent, who worked for a secret agency that used Supergirl to do various things and tried to control her powers. To a large extent, these stories dramatise my experiences in one way or another -- and often quite literally -- although obviously my experiences are not exactly like any of the stories. For example, Kara calls her adoptive Mum and Dad "Eliza" and "Jeremiah", like I now call my adoptive "Mum" and "Dad" using their first names. I used to call them Mum and Dad until they became abusive CIA agents in one version of the universe -- and I haven't wanted to go back to calling them Mum and Dad again because of how awful all of that was, even though they're both nice people now. They're OK with it, and they don't get upset or angry about it.

Anyway -- I can protect you because my feelings fly around like Reign in Season Three of your show, or run around doing "random" vicious things to people like Cindy in the Stargirl TV show. The mafia won't be able to harm you and your family and stuff. In person I'm like Supergirl and Sam Arias though, but I'm a little girl -- so maybe more like the character Kira Kosarin plays on The Thundermans, mixed with a lot of Aubrey Plaza's weird personality. I'm just trying to describe what I'm like using these people that you might know of. Hopefully that doesn't sound like a scary person to meet. Maybe my personality is a lot like the characters of Nora and Chloe from The Thundermans too. My apartment has quite a few dolls, action figures of female wrestlers, LEGO Friends sets, and so on displayed in various places -- and I have a multicoloured crocodile plush toy next to my bed that I talk to every now and again for comfort (but she doesn't talk back to me, because she's just a plush toy). I'm not crazy. My sister is actually a real person though: but as I said, she doesn't talk back to me anymore either since she's in her heaven prison. I'm not trying to scare you away. I'm letting you know exactly what to expect if you wanna meet with me. I don't have any action figures of you. I used to have a Supergirl action figure once, but it was a comic book version and it wasn't with your likeness or anything.

You might wonder why my character on your TV show beats up the character you played with a lamp post, sending Supergirl into a coma. Well, in that scene Reign represented my ex-girlfriend and Supergirl represented me. That was a visual metaphor depicting what some of my ex-girlfriend's behaviour towards me felt like, even though she never literally beat me up like that. I was sad about her leaving me (one of the themes of that season of the show).

Also -- my ex-girlfriend was me from the future at one point, although I don't know if she still is me from the future or not. (That happened on your TV show too, sort of, with the Mon-El character...) I know this is weird but I'm just being honest. She also might have been a spy for Russia, or the CIA/EU, etc -- and she might still be a spy in this version of the universe. I don't know! LOL! I haven't spoken with her for years and I don't intend to speak with her again. I moved on from her years ago. Melissa, I wrote a lot about my ex-girlfriend on SAS so it was important to say something so you know I'm not interested in her anymore.

Something else that I need to talk about is Zack Snyder and the suicide of his daughter, Autumn. Basically, she committed suicide of her own accord -- but I still feel personally responsible for this, because it's me who creates everything that happens in the world. I knew the ultimate reason for why it happened and I still feel terrible about it. I need to write more about this at some point, because the film director Zack Snyder is someone I care about in a platonic way -- because along with the writers David Goyer and Chris Terrio, he made a serious effort in two movies that I've seen to explore what it is actually like to be a person like me, Goda, without ignoring the difficulties I have in feeling able to be a good person... and in feeling able to FEEL that I'm a good person (or at least not a terrible person simply for existing at all). Basically he explored the way that a person like me is reacted to by the world as a whole, instead of focusing mostly on the way that a person like me chooses to act -- meaning that my sense of being pushed into being in a lot of people's eyes, a bad person or a monster, was explored. By considering all of the factors that shape the personal development of a person like me into choosing to be, in my case, a superheroine, the movies seemed to come to the conclusion that it's more or less impossible for a person like me to be what most people consider as "good"... and that even the person herself is likely to view herself as being a failure and/or evil and destructive: a harmful, unwanted presence in the world who only hurts people. And then perhaps she becomes the biggest threat to humans and their survival as a species and as a civilisation, out of arguably justified self-defence. It's because such great and potentially destructive power is difficult for a person like me to resist using in every sense of the word "resist", resulting in escalating retaliatory actions from humans; and because humans aren't very nice, when viewed together as a single group. They seem to mostly care about their own immediate personal situation, and they're happy to actively consent to authority figures and big companies seeking to torture, kill, and exploit for resources and profits anyone who they feel able to otherise enough that they don't feel any need to care about what happens to them -- such as foreigners, poor people, or someone with superpowers like myself who seems to them to be alien and threatening (even if she clearly communicates over and over again that she is well-meaning and wants to help). Honestly, I think the truth is that even if the person with superpowers like myself does not seem to be alien and threatening, that humans viewed as a single group tend to see her as being a resource that they have a right to exploit for their own gain, unilaterally... and I think that's what the movies are also saying. I view Zack Snyder as an honourary friend, and that's why I feel so bad about having killed his daughter because of my PTSD; even though as far as he is concerned, she killed herself for her own reasons and I had nothing to do with it. Repeating what I said before though: she committed suicide of her own accord, but I feel personally responsible for this because I create what everyone does. I'm going to write more about this at some point, but I want to think carefully about what I'm going to say first. It's not appropriate for me to blurt it out here, because of why I'm making this post.

Basically, the reason I'm writing this post is to make sure that Melissa Benoist has all the facts -- because I wrote a huge amount of stuff on SAS, and a lot of it makes me look and seem terrible. I've been trying to disguise this post as being aimed at other people because I don't want to seem like a stalker, as I said again and again before. I've made this big effort to explain pretty much everything I can think of that might be a problem -- and most of it is actually explainable and understandable, when put in the overall context of what it's been like for me since I'm Goda and not a normal person. I'm not a monster. I'm a nice girl and I can be a good partner. I don't want a Lois Lane, either. I want to make you special, like me, Melissa. I want you to be immortal and young forever, with me. Hopefully with me forever, but forever is a long time -- and I was hoping to go on a single date with you, first.

Just so you know, I never wanted you to quit acting and leave everything behind in America to come and be with me in my small apartment only -- going with me to small towns in North Yorkshire on buses to buy very specific types of food that you might not want to eat. LOL. :) I figured that if you wanted to get together with me after going on a date, then you're gonna want to continue pursuing what I assumed to be your self-realised dream of being a famous actress. :) I want you to keep doing that and keep being successful at doing that, if that's what you want to do. I think you're great. I don't want to stop you doing what you love doing at all, and I actually want to help you keep doing it. I'm not against relocating to America either -- but only if you come to meet me again and ask me to go to America with you. I think it's likely that if you got together with me that I might be mentioned in footnotes on Wikipedia-type websites -- but other than that, I'm gonna continue being unknown by the general public until such time as it's safe for the world to know about me. I'm prepared to be known about before that though, if it means I can be with you. But I'm guessing that my superpowers won't allow the wider world to know that I'm Goda until it's become a world in which I can be emotionally safe in that scenario. I think that you can continue being a famous actress though, if you get with me. I'm not sure how it works with you not ageing though. People just mostly don't talk about the fact that I don't age, so maybe it might work the same with you. I'm not auditioning to be your lesbian mistress. I just want to meet you.

I think that my superpowers can protect you from all sorts of things. It might seem to you like meeting me in my small town to go on a date, in public, with me having talked about this on the internet, means that it's too difficult for you to do it without ruining your career. But if you haven't been bundled into a van by the CIA already, then I guess that's not actually gonna happen and you're OK. No one bothers me in my town anymore, even though I've admitted to doing all of this stuff on the internet and I've posted my photos and said that my town is Saltburn-by-the-Sea in North Yorkshire, England. It can work that way for you too. :) I'm Goda, so things don't have to make sense. Things can simply be OK and nothing bad happens. Please meet me so we can go on a date and talk.

~Victoria